Three weeks. That’s how long I have left in the first semester of my Senior year. 18 weeks. That’s how many weeks of school I have left until graduation. My final college year is starting to come to an end and I’m starting to feel that weird conglomeration of emotions; the one that only comes around when your life is about to drastically change – excitement, stress, nostalgia, inertia, confusion, ‘I’m not ready for this’-ness…
Thinking back, I had many of the same feelings about my senior year of high school and leaving home, leaving friends, starting something new in a place I don’t know as I now have about my senior year of college and applying to job posts and figuring out my future. On one hand, it’s really exciting – I remember thinking I am going to see snow, make new friends, and play collegiate softball. I was so close to new freedoms, more flexibility with my time and a fresh start with people I’ve never met before. I couldn’t wait to start taking classes on random things I was really interested in (only to for it to take all 4 years to realize what I actually wanted to do with my life), living in a dorm with other students, and trying new extracurricular activities. I couldn’t wait for all of this only to realize its a lot more stressful than I thought it would be; I thought it was never going to end. Little did I know, it would be the fastest four years of my life.
On the other hand, this excitement is tempered by the looming job applications (the yes and the no’s), the dreaded question of “what are your plans after graduation”, and, oh yeah, the extreme senioritis resulting in procrastination.
Being stressed and perhaps a little overwhelmed is also a reality of senior year. I have never felt completely sure of myself during the college process– I have had many days where I questioned some aspect of my degree, whether I should have majored in something different (I mean I started as a triple major with 2 minors and am now graduating with one major in marketing), or if the degree I chose will even get me where I want to end up.
At some point, though, I just had to put my best foot forward and trust that things will work out. Trusting that the experiences Drake University has given me, the internships along the way, and the connections I have made will propel me to the life I have always dreamt of.
I think it’s okay to feel different emotions every day, or to feel many emotions at the same time. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or excited, impatient for change or a little burnt out. Clarity will come when it is ready, just continue to enjoy the little moments, be nostalgic, and get excited for what’s to come.
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